"Fake" FAQ's

Do you lead seances?

Only on Thursdays or Halloween.

how about hypnosis?

We used to practice hypnosis, but all our pocket watches mysteriously broke.

will you report what i tell to my pastor?

Hell, yes! That is, unless you slip us an extra $50/session. (Emotional blackmail is a tried and true method of “direction.”)

Only if their blood sugar is low.

Do you ever suggest Directees drink Kool-Aid?

Absolutely! But first you have to do 100 one-arm pushups a day.

Will you tell me to pray harder, memorize Scripture or just get over it?

Click here for a link to FAQs that might actually be helpful to you…

Disclaimer: Only two of the spiritual directors highlighted on this website participated in the writing of these fake FAQs. But we’re not going to tell you which ones.